ROBOT SHEARER: poems

Over in the West, they've got a machine To get the wool off sheep, and get it off clean. You just plug it in, so no shearers can be seen And they call it the Robot Shearer.
Down on the board there is Number Thirty-one And it doesn't stop for 'smoko' at the end of a run - The boffins are so proud of their powder-coated gun, But it's just another Robot Shearer.
Its electronic eye sees it all from a slot But if a hoggett kicks, its technique is all shot And a perfect temper is all that it's got But it's bloody expensive - Robot Shearer.
It shears through dags - horns and ears as well - It only eats dollars - doesn't complain of the smell - The union rep looks in, and wishes it in hell, "How do you sign up a Robot Shearer?"	Darryl Cole - Director
The Boss thought it great when it mulesed all the lambs, Wigged all the hoggetts, and crutched all their dams, But he was less than impressed when it 'cut' all his rams 'Bugger them their Robot Shearer'!
There's a bug or two that they haven't fixed yet Because pizzles and testes are not a safe bet To survive the blows on the programme they've set - A million bucks to fix the Robot Shearer.
So if it can't shear a tally, or its fuses all blow Its transistors and bits in the river we'll throw And back to their computers the boffins will go To try to save their Robot Shearer.
For all our money, they've got little to show - Its still leaves the trimmings and its tallies are low, But one of these days - they keep telling us so - They'll perfect the Robot Shearer.
Now the scrap metal boys have been in for a look And you'd have to say that the future looks crook Thirty bucks for scrap the bottom line in the book No more red eyes for Robot Shearer.
'Twas never a gun and never rung the board Though it kept its cool when the temperature soared 'But you're fresh out of funds', the moneyman roared, Now it's SLAMP, and the sack for Robot Shearer.	Details of Robot referred to in "ROBOT SHEARER" Constructed and used at University of Western Australia